What people are saying

I read each chapter twice

Nason's book is so honest. I read each chapter twice - first for the story and then again for the emotion. Her writing takes you with her, even to the point of smashing dishes in the backyard in the rain. It's a package of joy, rage, pain and self affirming decisions. And yes, also love.

-J. Armstrong

I couldn't stop turning the pages

I couldn't stop turning the pages. Being married to a cheater who gaslights you--and whose lover pretends to also be your friend--is something I've been through, but not to the degree Nason experienced. I was blown away by the twist that one of his lovers had been the young Monica Lewinsky, which TNTs Nason's life when the Presidential affair makes the headlines. Nason handles the story very well, doing a lot of soul-searching and a critique of the patriarchy, while not totally letting Monica (or her own self) off the hook. That said, her husband was a fuc*head, and I'm glad she wrote this book (she's an excellent writer) because, you know, revenge is living your best life.

-K. Evans

Very well written

This is the first book in a long time that I couldn’t put down. Very well written and an excellent read.

- G. Plott

A Must Listen

To say that Kate Nason's memoir is the story of how a woman survived her husband's infidelity is like saying plants need water. That is obvious. But there is so, so, so much more. This is the story of how a woman learns to trust herself. How she learns to use whatever means (for Kate it's the Mother Mary and the poet Rumi, for me, for you, it will be something different) to look deeply at her own misfortunes, to grow from them, to point fingers only where fingers should be pointed and to offer forgiveness where forgiveness is due. Kate could have made this about a famous mistress, but by not doing so she rises above the tell-alls who seem to blame for fame. Her self-insight, humor, expressions of love to her children and her friends are beautifully rendered in the words and in the voice. This memoir is a must-listen for anyone who has ever doubted themselves, for any budding memoirist (that's me) and for anyone who simply wants to hear a good story.

-Vic

Riveting

I couldn't stop listening! My hub couldn't figure out why it took me so long to run errands. Kate's vivid, lyrical descriptions of situations and feelings were excellent. Her attention to detail dropped me right into each scene with her. I felt it through her. I found the ending refreshing, inspiring and powerful. Well, done, Kate, my new friend, whom I feel like I know. Thank you for a wonderful read!

-LYC

A fierce look at narcissism and why women stay in bad relationships

If you ever wondered why women stay with narcissistic partners, have I got the book recommendation for you.

I listened to Kate’s audiobook while I was traveling. I was immediately hooked by her story. Even though I knew Charlie’s bad behavior was going to create some major catastrophes, she writes him so seductively that I fell in love with her early descriptions of him. Then she kept me hooked with all the ways he gas lit the narrator and all the way the narrator gaslit herself in an attempt to keep per promise: 2 marriages okay, 2 divorces no way.

While we eventually see Charlie’s bad behavior for what it is, Kate doesn’t let the narrator off the hook. She explores her own motives, the way the past informed her choices, and the problems we create for ourselves when we ignore our intuition.

There are so many great things I can say about Kate’s work, but I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the quality of the writing. Her gripping scenes about the narrator’s brutal rape, her moments of grace, the godforsaken Portland rain, and the triumphant moment when she destroys her sinister Frigidaire Flare will have you feeling all the feels. She nails her emotional beats, and the seeds she plants early on bear very satisfying fruit later hit her story. I did a little happy dance as I cheered my way through her ending which is simultaneously uplifting and so artfully done.

-Lisa Ellison

Heartbreak countered by strength and courage

I just finished listening to Everything is Perfect and I can’t stop thinking about it. Setting the political scandal aside, this is a book that every woman who has been lied to by an unfaithful partner should read. Let’s face it, it describes an (unfortunately) near-universal experience. Though Nason’s private heartbreak became fodder for the tabloids (which seems like the universe just piling on when it occurs in her narrative) Nason’s struggle to live through the experience and come out of it whole, is extraordinary.

Even if you are not partial to Nason’s specific sources of comfort and advice (the poet Rumi is one) or the tools she employs to express anger constructively (broken dishes anyone?) you will absolutely relate to her goal — to keep herself sane, and her children safe and out of the spotlight. (Particularly hilarious is her use of Groucho Marx nose-and-glasses as shields against the press.)

Lying is so insidious, and Nason highlights the ways in which it can break down self-esteem. The lies, coming on the heels of a horrific assault, could threaten the sanity of the strongest woman. Kate Nason tells the story of her world falling apart — and the spectacular circumstances in which it did so — with an eye not to bemoaning her fate or cashing in on scandal, but rather to learning something.

I should also add that this is among the most beautifully written memoirs I’ve ever read. In fact, it’s downright poetic. Three cheers (and five stars) for a woman who has spun her misery into a beautiful, helpful, kind memoir.

-flimfrik

Fresh and personal; insightful

Summary: Enticing memoir, intriguing insights, best in 2nd half, and use the 1.2X speed.

The choices, expectations, worries and dreams of women about romance, love, marriage and famly life are the core of the story here. The setting is undeniably promising, centered on Kate Nason's -- and the media's -- discovery that her husband had been a lover of his student, Monica Lewinsky, during their marriage. Nason's keen observations and insights kept me interested, even though I found the first half slow to get going, with much daily minutiae described in more detail than I appreciated.

I suggest a reading speed of 1.2X. While the author/narrator has a pleasing voice and spot-on expressiveness, her reading pace is annoying slow. I do this rarely in many years of listening, but for this book, 1.2 was just right for me.

The memoir is compelling for universal themes and learning that the author shares, and she's brave in her self-revelations as she describes her growth as she meets shocking challenges. Her physical and character sketches of both men and women are truly vivid. The main story is handled well: the upheaval that follows to Nason and her family when her husband's affair with Monica Lewinsky is brought out in the context of the Clinton scandal, along with her reaction to these profound and pervasive betrayals. It is an account of collateral damage arising from public events, from a perspective that I certainly didn't catch at the time, and this point of view is well handled even though the outcome is known.

It's not clear why Nason would give a pseudonym to Monica, though I can see why she does that for other women who were involved with her husband, but it doesn't hurt the story. This memoir is a solid, reflective and well-written account with an original and thoughtful approach.

-Maureen McDaniel